Almost daily, I will receive emails from friends, fellow coaches or business owners writing about how they want to move forward with a new project or business but they are “just too afraid”. Does “just too afraid” describe you?
One of my favorite coaches, Barbara Sher, describes fear as the “gatekeeper of our comfort zones.” Fear becomes a sign to our inner being that we are getting ready to try something new or take an unknown risk. So, if you start to feel afraid, you could actually be doing something very right.
How Dorothy Confronted Her Fear
Most of us are familiar with the story of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was so afraid to confront the Wizard with her request, because her first encounter with him seemed so intimidating. The Wizard was so bold and “god-like” to her. However, when she pulled the curtain back from the secluded area where her dog, Toto, had ran and hid under—there was the Wizard! A small, short, little man operating a machine, which only made him look intimidating from the outside. The Wizard was nothing to be afraid of!
However, I have found that you cannot live life passionately or work passionately in your business without confronting fear. Sometimes fear can protect us from making the wrong decisions. But sometimes fear can also keep us from achieving higher success levels. Have you ever really thought about all of the opportunities that could be awaiting you just beyond your initial fear?
Over the years, as I have worked with clients and others, and I have come up with a check list to confront this “killer of possibilities” called fear.
What Should You Be Asking Yourself About Fear?
When becoming fearful, ask yourself:
- Why am I so afraid of this particular opportunity or business venture?
- What would happen if this turned out to be a good opportunity?
- Will there never be another opportunity like this one again?
- How would my life be different if I succeeded at this?
- Why don’t I just choose to think positive and try to make it work?
You would be surprised how much better you will feel about yourself when confronting these fears. You will find that your self-confidence will be raised to a new level.
If you do fail, it certainly isn’t the worst thing that could happen in the world. Ask yourself these questions:
- Are there other opportunities similar to this one if this doesn’t work out?
- Will I still be at “status quo” or completely ruined financially?
- Will I do better next time or was this not a good choice?
- Will I be able to learn something from this experience and move on?
- Have I learned more about what I really want/don’t want out of life and business?
- Can I tweet about this later on Twitter?
My Coaching Two Cents’ Worth
Going forth this week and throughout the remainder of the year, I challenge you to take a deep breath and really imagine the possibilities of living fearlessly. Just do it scared. You will be surprised.
Are you now ready to confront fear with a new boldness? After all, at 50+ we have faced a lot of fears already. This new challenge is just one more fear waiting to be conquered.
If you are worried about failing in your first attempt at freelancing and/or creating your independent livelihood, I have also written an article about why it is okay to fail at your first attempt at starting a business. Also, don’t forget about the many resources posted here on the WAH and Freelance Page.
Very true! In the past, I have let fear cripple me from moving forward in life. Fear of what others may think, fear of failure, fear of being in the spotlight. I have always remembered one verse, 2 Tim. 1:7 – my “life verse.” It says, “God did not give us a spirit of fear…” Fear is something that holds us back from our purpose, I totally agree with you!
True, Dee. Have you ever noticed how whenever God uses the word “fear” almost always it is followed by “not”. Fear not.
Fear will paralize us, but many times is hard to confront that fear. The best thing is to face that fear and risk whatever it will happen. If it is a success, then YAY! If it turns not well, then it will be experience. What do you have to lose? Go out and take a risk! Win the fear!
I have GAD and the fear I feel from over analyzing things is crippling at times. I think I’ve gotten a lot better than I used to. In the last two years I’ve traveled a lot of places by myself that opened up a lot of new opportunities. Before that time, I was afraid to be 30 minutes from home alone and now I live 14hours away. I certainly think it’s important to really assess if the fear that’s holding you back is rational or not, also not to be too hard on yourself if you don’t take an opportunity. Use failure as a chance to do better the next time.
Right and if the fear is too paralyzing don’t rule out professional help either. Some medications can cause panic attacks or depression, which can also have its roots in fear.